Mittens of Doom

Alright, here it is. The long awaited (well, maybe you haven't been waiting, maybe it's more like the long promised and whined about) saga of the mittens.

Once upon a time, in August, a book arrived on the doorstep. A lovely book, a much desired book, a book of mittens. Not just any mittens, but magical 2 color traditional-history-on-your-hands mittens. And there was much oohing and aahing over the book, many flips of the pages in attempt to decide which beautiful pattern to knit up first.

I said to my sister "Choose which ones you'd like, and I'll make them for you for Christmas". I didn't think anything of it at the time, I figured she would flip casually through the book and find some pretty flowery pattern. Lo, she did not. She instead chose the Moose. I was not terribly troubled at the choice, merely surprised. I looked at the pattern, which really was a very cute moose, and said "Okay." She then chose the colors she wanted, and said that she wanted mittens instead of the gloves the original pattern showed. I said, "No problem, that makes my life easier."

And so yarn was ordered. And on a weekend that she was out of town and therefore not likely to stumble upon me knitting and ruin the surprise, I started the Moose Mittens.

September 6, 2008: Knitting commences. The knitting is easy, the pattern lovely, it goes quickly. Midway through the moose, I try on the mitten. Yikes. Mitten is much too large, even though my sister has bigger hands than I do. Rip. Find smaller needles, recommence knitting.

The next few days, knitting continues. Knitting stops when I finish the moose and need to figure out how to do the top of the mitten instead of the patterned fingers. I chart, and chart and chart, trying to stay with the theme of the mittens. I finally make one I like, and continue knitting. All it well.

When my sister returns home from her sojourn, she is told to keep her eyes closed and I slip mitten onto her hand... it fits well enough. Yay! There is much celebration.

The mitten is put aside and not forgotten about, but other deadline knitting has entered the picture and must be done before Christmas. So I knit, and knit and knit and knit, but not the Moose mittens.

October 24, 2008: Knitting commences on Moose Mitten the second. Slow going - by this time I have gotten into the full swing of gift knitting and am much distracted by multiple projects.

November 14, 2008: Have completed the moose of the second mitten. Pull out first mitten to see them side by side. Have feeling of horror. Mittens are not the same size. Noticeably not the same size. Mitten the second is smaller around- by a good half inch to an inch. Very bad. Unacceptable. Mittens are thrown across the room. Will ponder catastrophe and come to decision on what to do when I'm feeling a bit less homicidal.See in the top photo, that's Mitten the second on top of Mitten the first, see that pudge sticking out to the right side - bad gauge difference. The second picture is just obvious. Oi.

Weeks go by and the Mittens remain in time out. Decision made to finish Mitten the second and make a Mitten the third to match, since gauge will be closer if I do one right after the other. Knitting recommences, and a new top of the mitten is worked.

Get to top of mitten, close top of mitten and cut yarn, slip mitten onto my hand.... horrified. Again. Mitten is too short. Much grring and grumbling commences. Mitten is not thrown across room because am at SnB in public bookstore. Pitying looks and murmurs of condolence from knitting friends. I buy a cookie. I eat the cookie. Take a deep breath and rip. Re-knit top of mitten to better length. Close top of mitten, try mitten on before cutting yarn, and deem it acceptable length. Cut yarn. Set mitten on table and glare at it occasionally as I cast on for Mitten the third.

Knit Mitten the third grudgingly. By this point, it is my fourth time through the moose pattern. Moose pattern has lost initial charm and delight. Knitting is slow due to lack of interest, and time crunch on other projects.

December 24, 2008: Discover that presents will be opened after church. Presents are never opened after church, presents are never opened before Christmas morning. Have an "Oh crap!" moment. Knit furiously while at work. Get mitten the third done while at work. Compare to mitten the second. Not exactly the same size, but close enough. Heave sigh of relief. Relief quickly replaced with dread, realizing mittens have no thumbs. No thumbs, and no knitting time due to family invasion. Ask sister if she minds opening unfinished gift. Sister does not mind, as she has no immediate need for them due to impending trip to Key West. Harbor violent thoughts towards sister.

December 24, 2008, evening: Mittens of Doom gifted. They fit! Hallelujah! Photos taken to document Mittens of Doom, carefully hiding fact that they are thumb-less.
December 25, 2008: Mittens of Dooms forgotten in excitement and delight of new spinning wheel.

December 31, 2008: Thumb the first completed.

January 5, 2009: Thumb the second completed. Mittens of Doom completed. Vow to never knit moose mittens again.